#write31days | October 26th

I have mentioned how much I cherish and appreciate my married friends and how important I think it is for S I N G L E S to have married friends. I had a treat of gathering with 3 dear friends from my church who I led a Bible Study with this summer, but schedules hadn’t allowed us to meet up together in a couple of months.

They are married and mamas to 10 adorable littles combined (who are their own amazing little village) and also teachers to their littles through classical home school. I have such great respect for them, their lives individually, as wives, as mamas and as friends.

I had thought before we met I should ask them what are some things they wished they had known when they were S I N G L E about married life.  But, I didn’t even have to ask. They encourage my writing and we were talking about this month of writing and from there the giggles of relationships started…so, I wanted to share a few wise words from these dear friends…

While talking about what shoes to wear with a dress to an awards event for a husband, and suggesting animal print (leopard, of course #neutral) pump…

“He doesn’t like animal print.” 

Did you know your guys might have opinions about these things? Also, they might have opinions about leggings. Or some specific type of shirt.  Takeaway: Ask these things when dating and make them be honest in responding. These are simple ways to make your man happy, so ask him!  And, if it is an event for him especially, wear something he loves not hates.

As we were discussing nail polish and hair products and such…

“Never spray hairspray in the bathroom when he’s in there.” 
“He doesn’t like my hairspray. I have found the ONE (hairspray) whom my soul (hair) loves! And, he can’t stand it” 

I know there are lots of people who are picky about smells. But, we know, finding THE hairspray that holds our hair, hello Texas humidity to contend with, and to be told you don’t like the SMELL?  Takeaway:  If he mentions something that bothers him, pay attention, talk about these things.

Of course we all have very proud moments (#sarcasticfont) that we are selfish (and admit in the midst  of and also apologize for later) that sometimes might cause a pretty big disagreement…

“Painting my nails in the car might have been our biggest fight of 2016”.  

Sometimes a girl needs a boost to feel pretty and sometimes nail polish does that trick. And, sometimes painting your nails in the car (#talent) where your man is driving, and you can just SIT and let them dry, seems like genius use of your time. But, he really doesn’t like it.  Takeaway:  We all do things that strike one another’s nerves, be quick to recognize when selfish and always quick to apologize. Even as you hand out the Chick Fil A that’s been chilling (#punintended) while your nails dry to your family after confirming the service of said car dinner won’t smudge the nails.

Family budgets and girls closets might sometimes clash, but also according to point # 1 not all fashion choices are appreciated….

“It’s from Anthro” is not a universal term of value.  

Where your girl friends might ooohh and ahhhh over your latest Anthro find, especially when you scored it on sale + sale, or even the one you’ve waited for and splurged on. #Boho isn’t always appreciated by your man and sometimes he doesn’t even care about the cost. Takeway: what is trendy in your closet or in life might not always be loved or appreciated by your man, no matter how cheap or expensive it is.

While we laughed over all of these topics the thing that is common amongst all of them is that they are LITTLE THINGS, that can believe it or not cause BIG DISAGREEMENTS.

One additional piece of advice one couple shares regularly with engaged couples…

“You’ll have the same fight, they will just be quicker and quicker”. 

The things that you fight about, you’ll probably repeatedly fight about them, but as the years go by, you fight about them quicker. You’re less likely to stew and pout over it, instead just bringing it right up, maybe even not at the best time. Or sometimes you’ll discuss their response in your head, that you’ve heard a few times before, and resolve it before you even say something to them. Instead confessing that internal fight, you’re over it and ready to move on. #pickyourbattles

Thankful for these friends, for laughs and for their wisdom! Remember, your man might not have too many opinions about your style or hairspray or nails, but the things he does care about, honor him. He chose you and he loves you for you.  And, we’ve likely made a comment or two about that certain clothing item he won’t turn loose of, or the style of something he wears that we wish he wouldn’t.

While these are fun stories and valuable lessons learned, I think it is important to say, these friends were never demeaning about their husbands or their preferences to the little things they have opinions about.  And, that is one of the greatest lessons of all, honor your spouse. 
If you’re just joining in from #write31days, I’m so glad you’re here!
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