The elusive one.
Here’s the deal, there is only One, and other than that, it’s not “the one”.
I have found The One, Jesus, who loves me, seeks me, cares for my heart, treasures me, adores me, wants the best for me and delights in me.
The worldly “one” might do those things too, but he will also let me down, hurt my heart, disappoint me and other things, though hopefully not intentionally, he is human, not perfect and I would also do all the same to him.
Somewhere along the way society has developed marriage as an achievement. It doesn’t matter if you’re “successful” at it, meaning staying married, at least you GOT married, but if you haven’t I have often felt people perceive me as failed.
I haven’t failed at life because I haven’t gotten married. Neither have you if you are still single.
Here’s also how I know “the one” isn’t really just one person: the divorce rate in America. If it was “the one” then we would have marriages that always lasted until death do us part because you are each other’s “one” and no one else would do. But, we don’t.
When, or if, I find “the one” I walk down an aisle to, say vows to and commit to in covenant relationship I will still have to choose him every day. He will also have to choose me every day. Neither of us will be perfect, but every day we will choose each other. The good days. The best days. The hard days. The unknown days. The days of answers. The days of WAITing. We will choose each other.
“The one” for me is an unknown WAIT. At times I have felt like has been in total silence, other times maybe looked promising. However, I believe I have been protected and kept from a situation that wouldn’t have been right. I have prayed every time, if this is meant to be, let it be. If not, take it away. And, that a few times has crushed my heart. But, I believe God and His plan for me, not my limited view of what I think is good.
Easy? No. Some of the hardest days.
I have the dearest of married friends. I watch and listen very intently to them. I have seen so many seasons of life through my married friend’s relationships. By watching and listening they have taught me how to persevere, how to bring joy in a relationship, how to go forward when all seems against you, how to give and bless others, how to use talents together, so many things. If I do end up married, I want to do it well. These years with married friends who have been a part of my life are priceless. I want my husband to know men who lead marriages well, who seek The One and use His guidance in their homes with their spouses and families.
Nothing about “the one” is worth settling for, though it may be hard, I may be viewed as failing, right is always worth WAITing for. Getting married isn’t a check on a to-do list. The “one” could be any number of people, but it has to be the one I will choose every day, that I can’t imagine life without. Not because he completes me, he will never complete me, but together we will be a team taking on life. I want “the one” who’s seeking The One and finds me in the midst.