#write31days | October 16th

It is Sunday and so that means talking S I N G L E + church today.  In case you missed the previous post, {click here} and no I still haven’t met the one at church. 🙂  

Being single at church can be hard. Sometimes it seems every sermon series is geared to marrieds and those raising children and it is easy to tune out as “this doesn’t apply to me” and think you don’t matter at church if you’re S I N G L E.

Which is a lie. 

Reality is that is Satan trying to make you feel insignificant and tempt you into finding significance in something, anything, besides believing where you are is ok, that you can still gain something from church and that Jesus is near in this season.

Some of the greatest blessings in friendships to my life have come from friends I met at church. Yes, a lot of them also S I N G L E, but tons of them are married too. Finding your group of people and feeling like you belong in a church can be hard.

I’ve only been a member of a couple of churches my whole life; the one I grew up in, one I attended after college for a bit, one in my 20’s/early 30’s and where I have been a member for the last 5 years.  Finding a place and finding a group of people I thought I would likely become friends with when I moved to the “big city” took a while. I tried all of Houston’s large churches, a couple of smaller ones, used “no church” as an excuse to be out of town a lot of Sundays and generally floundered for a couple of years.

I can remember attending a wedding at one of Houston’s mega-churches on my birthday in 2000, and I said that night to myself “I am coming back here in the morning and trying it again“. It had been easy to be anonymous and just attend when I wanted in some church around town, where there was no accountability. I had lived a lot of late nights and road-tripped thousands of miles on my car on weekends when I first moved to Houston and I was tired. I knew I needed to be involved. I needed to meet friends, I needed community, I needed to find a place to serve. No one was going to do that for me and none of what I had been doing gave me purpose or meaning to my life.

Thankfully, August 13, 2000 when I walked through those doors and braved finding a class for S I N G L E people I found exactly what I needed. A friend I met that first day is still one of my dearest friends now 16 years later, we were from opposites ends of the state but had similar stories and both needed community, as did every other person I met. As I committed to attending, I continued to gain great friendships and my calendar shifted from meaningless to events and activities that gave my life joy and also gave me purpose.

I know a huge part of who I am is because of my faith; which is stretched, challenged and strengthened through being involved in church. If you find yourself S I N G L E and looking for friends, community and activities that will bring fulfillment to your life, my prayer for you is to find a church. Try a few out, commit to being consistent, find a place to belong, figure out how to serve and I can guarantee you no matter the sermon topic, church will apply to you.

My life is forever changed because of that single decision;
ironically, while sitting in a wedding.

Remember, no church is perfect, and all churches are a gathering of sinful people, so they will fail you, even if you happen to find your one and marry. Even though I haven’t found the one, that doesn’t mean I quit church, just because I’m still S I N G L E, nor does it mean church doesn’t apply to me. Again, the One who matters meets me both on Sundays at church and every day in between, reminding me I matter and I need to tune in because He has purpose and plans for me. He also does for you.

If you’re just joining in from #write31days, I’m so glad you’re here!
You can {click here} to read previous posts.


  1. annalee on October 17, 2016 at 7:13 pm

    I am so glad are in my life!
    (also I am commenting but showing up as E on these for some reason).

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