#write31days | October 29th

As I’m wrapping up this 31 days on S I N G L E, I thought one of the key things to offer is some resources that I use on a regular basis and might be helpful to you as well if you’re S I N G L E and have days that really get you down or seasons that feel like a date will never come.  I’ve walked miles in those shoes and definitely can relate.

First, is truth. The world around us constantly shoots lies through media, advertising, suggesting what you should look like, how you should dress and act to catch a mate and on and on. All of these messages infiltrate the mind with lies if we are not careful. The only way to combat the lies is truth.  This comes from knowing and reading scripture.  You may not be “church type” or however you describe yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can’t access truth and learn it.  Here are a few resources that might be helpful and I am happy to recommend others, just leave a comment.

  • Christine Caine is one of my favorite Bible teachers. She has a daily email “First Things First” that she writes with a truth of scripture each day that you can read in 30 seconds. If you’re struggling to find anything good that speaks to you, sign up for First Things First by clicking here
  • She (and HE) Reads Truth – I have had this app on my phone for a long time, and use it some days. It is a simple reading for the day and a community of both men and women reading scripture each day. To know you are part of thousands reading the same verses is powerful. I got to hear these girls tell a bit of their story last weekend at Abundance and they also have a book just released. Raechel and Amada’s stories are unique, but both are from very broken places, that God has sweetly redeemed. Each day’s post has comments and conversation that you can also join in or just read for additional insight.  This started out as a community for women, but they recently launched HE reads truth too. Click here for SHEs and here for HEs. If you’re dating someone this could be a great resource for the both of you to prompt discussions of your faith if you’re both reading the truth on a daily basis. 
  • Church – I’ve referenced my church numerous times throughout this series, and I don’t feel that my words can accurately describe the gift of people who walk alongside me in this life that I have gained from years and years in church.  None are perfect, but all are pursuing truth of God, and encouraging each other along the way.  I have a mentor who has prayed and spoken some of the dearest words to my heart about being S I N G L E and if it wasn’t for church she wouldn’t be in my life. 
Second is teachers. People who are wise in study, and research on subjects related to character and dating. Most authors I read are Christians, as they align their writing to #1 (truth) vs authors of books like ‘The Rules” who tell you to set the timer for 10 minutes and tell him you have to go so he thinks you’re important and he has to win your time.  In case I haven’t said it directly, I don’t like games – I don’t want games played with my heart, nor do I play games with someone else’s heart
  • Jennie Allen – a book called Restless. Maybe as a S I N G L E person you find yourself lost as to what your purpose is in the world. You didn’t think you would be in this stage at this age, whatever that is, and aren’t sure what you should be doing. Jennie’s book Restless walks you through finding the deepest desires of your heart, using the gifts you are equipped with and setting out DOING whatever it is. Being S I N G L E doesn’t mean being a bystander of life. 
  • Lisa Harper – she is another one of my very favorite Bible teachers and person I admire who is S I N G L E and living out the life God called her to. She most recently became a Mama at 50+ years old to a beautiful 7 year old Haitian daughter Missy. If you want to see life lived well, follow Lisa on Instagram. If you want to learn truth from someone who has lived the years and teaches with humor and the tenderest heart, seek out a study by her. Click here for Lisa’s books and studies and here for her Instagram
  • Brene Brown – you have likely heard Brene’s name in various circles of literature and study. She has done extensive research on vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. A friend told me about her a few years ago and I began looking into the studies she has done, have read lots of her articles and follow her on social media. The insight to vulnerability and shame are challenging and freeing in how you view yourself and how you interact with others. She is a Houston gal and spoke at TEDx Houston in 2010 and has one of the top 5 most viewed TED talks in the world, The Power of Vulnerability that is worth 20 minutes of your time. Click here for Brene’s site which includes her books, articles, downloads and more. 
  • I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a Bible Study teacher who was the first teacher I had upon finally deciding I was going to really give church my intention and get involved. She is S I N G L E and wiser than me, she is someone I admire and have kept in touch with all of these years. From leading us in Bible Study, hosting us for Book Club, cheering on our class and keeping up with both her real job students and her Bible Study students she is impacting generations with truth and love because of her teaching. 

Third is community. Being involved with people in activities that bring you joy are important, they will also help you to see the world outside of just your circumstances which can seem overwhelming at times when you feel like all you are is S I N G L E. These activities are also important to keep up when you start dating someone and even when you’re married.

  • Volunteer – no matter where you live and what your interests are, there is a place for you to volunteer; from coaching sports, reading to children, assisting with fundraising efforts, community impact and helping needy there is something for you. I have volunteered to plan St Jude Gala, done 3Day 60-mile Breast Cancer walks which required fund raising, Horseback Therapy, Rodeo Houston, Oilfield Helping Hands and more. All of which were just based on my interests and gave me community and friends in addition to my church friends that liked the very same things I did. Sure, I’ve met a few people to date through these organizations and actually this is where lots of people meet their spouses – through volunteering. 
  • Give – no matter how big or small you think the amount of money you might have to give to something, find the thing(s) that matter to you and give some money to the cause. The only caution I give is to know where your money goes and how much of each $1 you donate gets used directly to the cause. I sponsor a child in another country to have school, food, medical care and be taught about Jesus for a very nominal amount per month. I attend various charity events as invited and give to some of them as well. 
  • Family, Friends and Framily – one of the big things for me is to be mindful of time for me to do the things I need to but to keep myself out of isolation too.  As a S I N G L E person, oftentimes that requires work on my part to keep in touch with and reach out to others vs always waiting on them to reach out to me. If you live somewhere that is far from your family or perhaps have a strained family life, finding those friends who become framily are really important. Again, while very blessed with parents I see often and who love me dearly, I am doubly blessed with people of all ages that I get to live life alongside who are framily for me. They are older, younger, married, S I N G L E, parents, empty-nesters, re-married, widowed and every life stage in between. 

One final resource is the book or app Jesus Calling. I challenge you to read this book and the verses referenced on a daily basis and find that it will not apply to your life nor change your life over the course of a year.  I have a friend who texts me several times a year about reading Jesus Calling and the message of the day applying to specific events going on in her or my life.

I hope these sources give you guidance and provide a source of hope and direction when needed as well as purpose and love in your life as they have mine.  As always, please ask if there are questions or other resources I could help to find.

If you’re just joining in from #write31days, I’m so glad you’re here!
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