Monday Musings ~ How do you do it?

….a few thoughts, a little scattered….

In July I spent a weekend with one of my college besties and her family at her annual cousins reunion. You should know that I’ve never been to a family reunion, and this one is a big reunion, complete with an amazing pot luck Saturday night and brunch on Sunday!  #breakfastalwayswinsmeover

She asked me to come along as an extra set of eyes and hands to help with her three littles as she didn’t think her husband was going to come. Not because he had to work, or something else going on, but because physically he’s not well and ALS makes things like a weekend camping at the lake harder than average days at home. But, he did come, and was still there the first of two nights I spent with them. We had a good time gathered with all of her family and lots of laughs.

Every time I look at my sweet friend I am amazed by her strength. 
And, I think “I don’t know how you do this.” 
But, not in the context of not doing it, because that isn’t an option. 
But, more in sheer awe and humility of her strength. 
There’s so many cliches about “hard”…
what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
God won’t give you more than you can handle 
I don’t know how you do it
You are stronger than me
Of all the hard roads I have friends on right now… 
cancer, illness of all kinds, grief, marriage struggles, infertility, the list goes on 
Not one of those people would tell you these aren’t some of the hardest days of their lives.
But, they also would tell you they are just doing what they know to do. 
Day by day. 
With the hope for another day. 
And enough strength to get through that next day. 
In watching and living hard days, 
I know that “strength” comes up from within you like you never knew you had. 
But none of them are writing the book on how to do it. 
And all of them would tell you, you just do what you have to. 
To keep going forward, keep fighting for it. 
No one would choose the road they are on. 
But all of them are testimony to the strength from their faith.
That is what is different, and faith is what gives them the hope to press on. 
For research and appointments.
For hard conversations and tasks. 
I’ve also learned the value of showing up. 
There’s not always something that can be identified as “needed”. 
But showing up will always meet a need. 
And listening. 
Often no one needs more advice and counsel. 
They need a safe place to be themselves and let out the tears and fears.
Ask rhetorical questions that they don’t need an answer to. 
Together we figure out how to do it. 
Day by day. 
On our faith and our prayers. 
If you’re wondering how someone does it, 
show up and listen. 
Rejoice in hope, 
be patient in tribulation, 
be constant in prayer. 
Romans 12:12

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