#write31days | October 18th

I can very distinctly remember my Dad telling me to get back on my horse after being “bucked off” in what was epic defeat to me at the time.  Reality was my horse hit some water and jumped it and I wasn’t prepared and fell off. But, getting back on, no thank you. I can lead that horse back to the barn.  But, we were too far.

And, that lesson has stuck with me.  Get back on your horse. 

It’s so hard to do, no matter the circumstances, but especially in dating. Sometimes just being S I N G L E seems easier, there’s not a potential to be hurt, you know what to expect and there isn’t a lot of risk that you feel like you have to take.

Every “yes” in regards to dating is taking a risk. 

Can I set you up with a friend?  
Would you like to go for {coffee, drinks, happy hour, dinner, movie}? 
Can I get your phone number? 

Those questions seem easy.  Without much consequence or reason to hesitate. 
Until you start dating them for a while and the questions might get harder. 

Would you be my girlfriend? 
Will you meet my parents? 
Would you be my date to {wedding, family event, trip, work party, reunion…}? 

Why does the yes get harder? Why does it bear more weight? 
Why does it feel like more of a risk to continue to say “yes”? 
Somewhere in this process we have been hurt.  
And, to get past that point again seems more and more risky. 
And, the stakes go up again the more serious you are. 
Will I say “I love you” to them?
Would I consider ______ as potential mate? 
And, fear creeps in.  
Somewhere in the past someone has hurt us. 
Will they do the same thing to me. 
They aren’t the same person. 
But, they might do the same thing. 
And, “no” sounds like a better option.  
So, we won’t be set up. 
We won’t go for {coffee, drinks, happy hour, dinner, movie}? 
We won’t give out our phone number? 
And, we certainly won’t have to be vulnerable to enough to commit or meet their family and friends. That means we would really be invested. 
And that is risky. 
And means I could potentially get hurt again. 
But, you might not.
Most every marriage {unless you married your Junior High Sweetheart that you dated all through High School} has some baggage that comes to the relationship due to past relationships and break-ups. Even the “best case” of break-ups, they still leave us with hurt. 

And, if we don’t say “yes” again, we’ll never know if it is the final “yes”. 
The last first date. 
Where “yes” eventually becomes “I do”.
Have courage. 
Even when it feels like you’ve been bucked off. 
Get back in the saddle. 
Believe in the good. 
Do it again. 
(Make sure you’re saying “yes” to the right dates, not just to avoid being alone.

If you’re just joining in from #write31days, I’m so glad you’re here!
You can {click here} to read previous posts.

Leave a Comment