#write31days | October 23

Monday Musings: Marriage

I’ve had several conversations lately with married friends. Not about getting married, but about being and staying married.

People who were vulnerable and told me struggles in their marriages.

And, how they overcame them.

Because they are committed to one another.

In all the seasons.

Ones who have celebrated 10, 25, even nearly 40 years of marriage.

It seems like all we see publicized are the “conscious uncoupling”.

No one seems to be writing headlines about “conscious coupling”.

Deciding every day to stick it out*.

Honestly, the older I get the more I’m leery of someone not sticking to marriage.
Deciding it’s not worth it.
That something else looks better.

Then I am reminded of the faithful ones.

Who stick it out.
Who argue and fight for it.
Who tell their story because no one really has a perfect marriage.
Who teach me because of their vulnerability.

I’m grateful for my single friends, but I’m so very grateful for the marrieds.
The ones who really invite you in.

We’re better because of life in community.
For clinging to Jesus, for hope in the uncertainty.
For sticking to vows because they are a covenant, not a document.
For protecting what’s sacred and building each other up.
For leaning into the ones who go behind them, for the generations to be impacted.

I hope whatever stage of life you’re in you have a trusted circle.
One where you can be your raw self.
Everybody doesn’t get that person, but the trusted circle does.
And, I hope they teach you because of their actions.
The way they live their life.
The stories they tell.

And, I hope you’ll in turn do the same thing.
We need you.
Keep fighting for it.

Find all of this month’s posts here:  #write 31 days |October 2017

*Sticking it out doesn’t mean staying if you’re in an abusive or unsafe marriage. Help is available to you.  I can connect you.