2017: Grow

Here it is already one month down of 2018, and I’ve yet to write about 2017 and my word from the year.  I already have the word for 2018 tucked away, it was one that was so very clear to me.

I remember at the beginning of 2017 after turning the calendar and having relied on the STEADFAST love of the Lord so much in 2016 that 2017 spoke very clearly to GROW.

Which is also VERY scary.

It’s like praying for patience. That means situations have to arise to teach patience.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to pray to “grow”, nor what that would entail, and when it would be hard.  Looking back, I’ve certainly grown in 2017.

I think it’s been a bit hard to put words to this year because there are some things that aren’t for the WWW and that are only mine. Nothing entirely revolutionary, but sacred to me.

There were some areas of very practical growth, in my MBA. I learned a lot about accounting that I’ve never known and rode the struggle bus through all of it, trying to work with a somewhat difficult and demeaning teacher who finally worked out to be much kinder at the end.  I also juggled more classes and online learning, which is not my strength, with my other commitments still in tact.

I grew in managing my expectations.  I’m not sure I will ever stop growing in this area. Sometimes, I wish I could just have low expectations of all things, it seems like that would be so. much. easier. But, I over and over struggle with managing my expectations of myself and others, I tend to think people would act/treat/do the same as I would, and they just don’t.  This causes me disappointment and often tears.  Usually because it is tied to something very close to my heart that I really believe in and/or am committed to.

I stood up for myself and stopped apologizing for things that weren’t mine to “be sorry” for. I spoke to my boundaries, the things I need in life and cut out some things I didn’t, and kept close what mattered.

I grew a network marketing business and am continuing to step out of my comfort zone to share products I believe in with my family and friends that also earn me extra money.

I swapped my old .blogspot for this new website. I held onto ideas and “what ifs” for far too long and decided it doesn’t have to be perfect, it is a canvas for my words.  With a few google searches and a lot of use of the undo function I turned this site on and began collecting my words here, in my own branded space of the WWW.  I get mostly positive comments about writing, my social media and such; but there have certainly been a few zingers. Some by people I’d call friends, but growing meant not taking them personally and continuing to write on MY canvas.

I grew in increments this year too…committing 30 days at a time, posting a picture every day and blogging the story every week. I  re-read a lot of those posts when I was finishing up the final posts for the year.  There were so many moments of growth from those simple pictures.

My faith grew.  I lost a bestie this year and a dear Rodeo committee friend. I marked one year without my Barney dog and one year with the Auggie dog, and the 4G lost a couple of pets, too.  A very dear family to me lost a son, grandson, nephew and cousin at 9 years old. Our city endured a Hurricane and a traumatic flooding event. We also got a gift of a snow dusting and a World Series Championship.  My nearly 9 year partnership sponsoring a Compassion child in India came to an abrupt end due to political climate and I sponsored a sweet 5 year old girl, Angie, in El Salvador.  A bestie had twin babies after a long and trying infertility struggle.  I attended the funeral of a parent for two besties, and also celebrated their weddings just months apart. I had several speaking opportunities and my first paid speaking engagement. All of these things have grown me in 1,000 different ways and there are many more moments like these.

So, 2017, you were a year of steady. Work stayed the same.  Living stayed the same.  School stayed the same. Commitments to serve stayed the same.  But, in between the every day of those things, I grew.  I know some of that growth won’t even be realized until years down the road, while some of it is still a very fresh lesson. I held onto Psalm 19:7 all year.  It was from an event at the beginning of the year and  “making wise the simple” stuck with me all year.  Sometimes the simple is the hardest and I definitely grew in learning that lesson.

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul;
the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple 
Psalm 19:7

I don’t doubt 2018 will still bring growth, but 2017 taught me no matter how hard, growing pains are worth it.