#write31days | October 19

A few weeks ago I was editing a document that included a sentence about asking for help.  The sentence said “I understand that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.” Somewhere over the years the idea of asking for help has become a weakness. I recommended changing that statement to “I understand that asking for help is a sign of strength.”  So “strength” is the word associated with asking for help versus “not a weakness” because weakness stands out.

I don’t know about you, but oftentimes it is very hard to ask for help. Being single for as long as I have, there are a lot of things I have HAD to do by myself, a lot of things I CAN do and many of those I DON’T WANT to do. Some I should ask for help on and others I just buckle down and do, even if I should have asked for help.

Lately I’ve asked for help for a few different things; both tangible/physical help and mental/spiritual help.  Every time I’ve done it I feel like a weight has been lifted because I quit trying to carry or do that thing all on my own. This looks different in every circumstance.  Sometimes it’s a text, sometimes a phone call, sometimes (this is my very favorite) it’s sitting at a table and being vulnerable to talk through the things where I need help. And then I wonder why it takes me so long to #doitagain. Why I wrestle so much with finally asking for help.

Asking for help sometimes feels like a burden. We don’t want to inconvenience someone.

However, what we’re really doing is denying someone the opportunity to use their gifts, both spiritual and natural abilities, who would be glad to help and never sees assistance as a burden. Think about the things you gladly do to serve or assist others and how they are never a burden to you. The things someone profusely thanks you for doing, and you emphatically respond with “it’s no big deal, happy to do it, let me know if I can do it again”. Those are the very things someone else would never see as a burden to help us, because they are using their gifts and abilities.

But, pride.

Because asking for help feels weak.

And that alone is our pride.

We can do it ourselves.

But, we don’t always HAVE to.

So, the next time something seems hard ask for help.

Without apology.

I don’t know what that one thing is that would mean so much to you if you had help.  Maybe it’s something around the house. Maybe it’s getting someone to help with shuttling your littles from school to practice. Maybe it’s an ingredient from a neighbor to finish a recipe. Maybe it’s picking something up so you don’t have to go out. Maybe it’s heavy lifting.  Maybe it’s just having a door held open for you. Maybe it’s having someone join you in praying for a specific thing. Maybe it’s a safe place to let a burden you’re carrying out.


And, then #doitagain.

We’re all stronger for it.

If you’re just joining in from #write31days, I’m so glad you’re here!
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